It's been like ages since I've written. I lost interest, strayed away and turned to other things that I take my stress away but somehow everything helps for not more than a day. Seems like a roller coaster ride again that just won't stop. I scream my head out but no one could hear me. Why is this even happening to me at all? Nothing is ever good enough and I wish there's a stairway to a place where it's different from here. All I want to do sometimes are the things that people I know could do way I before I did. It just turns out all wrong. I could do my best for the ones I love but it's still never good enough.
I guess peace is something far away and probably would never be found and so is love. I'm tired even by just thinking about the way things are. How could people be such hypocrites? I don't understand the way things work sometimes. Have you ever tried so freaking hard to please someone, you put yourself last on the list and the person takes a knife and stabs you right in the middle of your back? Sometimes the way things are feels exactly like that except that you're still alive and there's nothing you could do about it...
Sigghh..huge sighh...life feels duper fucked up right now. Wish things were different. If only I could feel nothing, be heartless and just move on...do things and live differently. I wonder how life would feel then. Like a heartless fool perhaps...
I hardly know what I'm talking or writing here anymore but I guess someday when I read this back..I'd know I felt like shit at this very moment.
Perhaps I should start fresh...a brand new entry which makes more sense....
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