to lil' Noah's 1st birthday and I'm sure he will be excited and showing off his beautiful smile to everyone who comes! I'm sure he's going to get awesome pressies!!
Sadly, a part of me feels down and I'm sure T feels the same. Our family have been broken all the while but knowing that now it's been broken way more, it makes it all harder. :-( It's easier said than done as always but somehow we can't give in when people don't realize the way the hurt others. I mean I could say that I don't wanna see them but as days go by, it gets so hard. I have screwed up before, everyone does but I realized my mistakes and try to make it up. Why isn't the same for him and M? I just don't get it and guess I just never will.
I know dad is not happy without them in his life and it's a bit easier for me which is why it makes me mad to think of how things turn out. Telling your father not to step into your house is way unacceptable and what more calling him a bastard?!?!?!? I'm tired.....tired of seeing mr.69 in tears..he's almost 70. How could I plan his birthday when he'll be missing his 3 grandkids? Nothing I do could take away that sadness and nothing in the world could as well. It breaks my heart to think about it but I can't find the words to tell him or them. If only mistakes were realized without having someone else point them out.
Sighh....
The cuts deep within are slow healing wounds and often never healed unlike paper cuts yet somehow they are often caused.......why?????
Ain't got nothing much to focus now I guess...MBA's screwed...house and car is nothing but headache...I'm going half insane......dad's bored in smelly Singapore...T's stressed at work and many stuff on her plate.....E's stressed with dog of a nephew....Dumper's (my car) got a bum crack which caused the lower value......Noah's smiling and happy as always...HAH!!! that's the thought that makes me smile and then...WATKINS!!!!! heading home for that.....yay.......:-)))))))
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