les miserables

it's now half past 12 and i'm wondering if he's fast asleep after all twas said and done how does one sleep with no regret, no nightmares and no fear does any news at all bring any sort of realisation deep down, somewhere in his heart, buried deep within i wish i knew what was hidden right there bring back the way it was though nothing was probably there in the first place come back to being the way we played pretend pretend as though you care pretend though you did love us all once before kill the feeling which is nothing but miserable deep within if not for me, never for me it is for the one who yearns for you at least when the clock goes back to the same timing on the next day the same thoughts would come back same miserable feeling and the wonder of what has happened how did it happen and why it can't be helped since it won't go away but at least if there were any chance of mending the heart of a poor soul couldn't it be given a shot if not for me, never for me but for the one who doesn't deserve this at least not now at this point of life

if..If and IF...

Humans had built in wings..swear i'll fly away and come back when shit ends or perhaps fly to a land where I don't know who I am or who I was. A fresh start where nothing in the past matters and the current phase in life is not to known to me at all. Day by day, I'm getting more and more tired than how the past few months has been. I wonder what yet again, what have I done or committed in the past to deserve this. It's draining me to a point where I don't know what to do anymore. I have gone back to the way I was and though I try, I can't fight it any longer. I wonder how long is this gonna last. Everything at all seem to get me down and I find myself struggling to stay awake, to stay less negative since positivity has left my life a long time ago. Each day goes by and I feel like a loser. It sounds shitty but it's true. I can't concentrate at work hence here I am...after not writing for ages.... I'm sick...of it all....pfftt