Eh...wait a minute..

That was my first post of 2011!!! And it wasn't something awesome at all..hmmph!! Well..at least it was a start anyway so perhaps I'll continue for a bit.

Well, happy new year to all (not like anyone's reading even)! :-) But yeah the year initially did not begin well at all and it's not that I thought it would. First day I was surrounded by people whom I tend to dislike due to character. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm far from that but it's just that those self-centered, show off, boastful, laser mouth people were there at uncle B's. I had no choice but to go since I had to drive mum there and it was like the worst day of my life since I wanted the first day of the year to be spent with people that I choose to be with like...dad, T, NETJ, Doni, E, mum, and most of all a bottle would've been perfect. Hehehe.

Oh well, and there was my lovely brother and his family who was there as always. WTF? They spent the whole day there unlike when they visit us which usually last for barely 2 hours. And on top of it he lied to dad and said he was at work. I knew I would hear it from dad the next day and I was right again. It saddened me to first hear him say it that his son could not even visit him on new year's day but could go over to uncle B's and then I watched his tears fall. I can't figure out why since each time they come over we treat them as awesome as we could but yet it all seems one-sided. Probably there are other people who are the same but I can't help but wonder why won't he think just what if anything happens? What about regrets? I mean I do screw things up as well but I try my best to make it up when I can. The whole thing just sucks..even thinking about it. Anywayz..perhaps after what he said the last time to dad, there won't be much regret maybe since those highly hurtful words could somehow come out.

So yeah...not awesome seeing him cry but I know NETJ makes it all better and reduces the hurt. I'm so thankful beyond words that he came into this world. :-) It's like he could cry today and the next day when he sees NETJ, I know the hurt has somehow faded for awhile and he smiles from his heart.

Shite...how emo...well, next post will try to make it a funny one. Again...this is probably just for me to one day read them all over again so nevermind, it doesn't matter much...

xoxo....